BUFFY FAN VIDEOS!!!

Okay, for those who haven’t ran away screaming, I would like to post something for your viewing pleasure.
Buffy, the Vampire Slayer (Abridged)

It’s pretty much just that.  The entire series of Buffy the Vampire Slayer series compressed into 3 minutes to that song.  You know, that song. Well, you’ll know it when the video loads.  

Okay, so it’s not one of those quasi-clever mash up vids that we’re all such big fans of these days., but it’s well edited.  That’s why I like it.  It’s simple.  The editing and timing take you on an actual journey instead of merely having you observe clips taken from a show.  People with a lot of time on their hands really baffle me and I’m constantly surprised with what they come up with.  

Sometimes it’s good to have a look back at things you enjoyed once upon a time and remember why you liked them in the first place.

Living in Sydney with an American accent gets the question “where are you from?” asked of me quite often.  Oh, if only I had a nickel for every blank stare I got with “South Carolina” as my response and another dime for every time someone asks “is that near New York?”  Anyway, nevermind.  Since about 1860 or so, SC has managed to stay out of the news and under the radar.  Other than Strom Thurmond with that whole “Dixiecrat” thing and the occassional West Wing reference, ¹ South Carolina is quite solidly one of the most obscure states in the continental U.S. 

Though recently, my native folk seem to be cropping up a bit more often.  I mean, if we’re getting the news down here, it has to be pretty big deal.  You may remember that guy who asked for directions after knocking over a bank, but most certainly you remember Miss Teen South Carolina.  ”Uh, some Americans don’t have maps?”

Congrats SC, you’ve done it again.  This time with First Family connections.  In a “shocking” article it reveals that Michelle Obama can trace her ancestery back to slavery.   Though, really, is it that much of a shock.  Can’t most of African-American’s do that?  It was sorta popular, back in the day.  Yet, of course, because South Carolina just can’t catch a break, of course the Pre-bama, came from a plantation owned from some hillbilly from the first state out to say “I’m outta here” when it came time to give up said slave.  That’s right.  My old stomping grounds, and when I mention this to people, it’s like I held Michelle Obama, wife of the man who will save the world, personally in the chains of slavery.

I think it’s cool that Mrs. President has roots in my home state.  At least someone besides me does, however it seems a bit arbitrary at this point to bring up the slave thing.  Before I get carried off in the heat of racism or something, I want to make clear that I’m not flippant about slavery and the past, it’s a part of our history and is definitely something that still effects the lives of  so many Americans.   So.  Is it because it’s Black History month?  Is it an awareness thing?  Does the fact that Michelle Obama visited her family’s former plantation matter?  Does it have any bearing on anything relevent?  Is it just a stunt?  Or is it a conspiracy to keep the great state of South Carolina in it’s place?

I don’t know.  I just don’t.  You tell me. 

But until then:

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Hi there, this little segment is created to answer questions that you never thought to ask, or better yet, questions that you were to scared to ask due to their obscurity level.  Alternatively this segment is just lame in your eyes, which in that case, you may leave.

What is the difference between the words “assume” and “presume?”

These days the two word are used almost interchangeably, however, there is a subtle difference.  To assume means to take for granted without proof whereas presume requires some proof or fact, but not absolute certainty. 

I presume you are the killer because I saw you standing over the body with a knife making stabbing motions.  I assume you bought the knife at WalMart.

How does the refrigerator know when to turn on the light?

Where many people might lead you to believe that the light is manned by a little person, an speedy imp, if you will, this is just not the case.  Whirlpool and others have come up with this ingenious invention so is so genius, so subtle, that most don’t even realize it’s there.  Hence, the wondering.

Behold: There is a special switch on the side the door that is released when the door is opened, creating light.  When pressure is applied to the switch the light turns off.  See diagram.

I think Ellen Degeneres is hilarious, does this make me gay?

Have you perhaps considered that you think Ellen Degeneres is funny because you enjoy when anecdotes are compiled with a bit of buildup and fanfare leading into a fulfilling punchline? Bet you never thought of that  – bet you assumed that it’s just her gayness crossing the little tv signals into your living room encouraging you to run — no skipping — out of the closet “I’m gay, I’m gay, I’m glorious gay!”  It can’t possibly be because the woman is just funny.

Or, perhaps, yes, it means you’re gay.

And that concludes this edition of “Carrie answers a few questions of the universe.”  If you have any questions, or perhaps a better title, feel free to ring in.

No tongue twister intended.  There is indeed a mouse in the house.  I have named him Shredder and he possibly killed my brother.

This is not something I would normally admit to many people, much less the internet public at large, because frankly it makes me feel like I live in a pig-sty.  But here goes.  Try not to judge.

My name is Carrie, and I have a mouse problem. ¹

I started to suspect foul play a few weeks ago but talked myself out of spotting the mouse poo with my own eyes using a nice heaping dose of denial.  However, last week, I caught a glimmer of this undeniable troublemaker out of the corner of my eye when I was writing. ²  A second and less shocking glimpse  came the next day.  Confirmation stage complete.  Mouse in house.

I start to call around, seeing what my options are for my little problem.  There are apparently two.  Trap or poison.  (Note, there are many sub-options within these two seemingly simple headings.)  And the lovely hairy sounding man on the other end of the phone said that he was happy to come set one or more of these options out for a small fee of $160.  Yeah that’s not going to happen.  Also, I find funamental problems with these two methods of riddance.

Trap.  Traps kill.  I will then have to dispose of the little crushed mangled body of this little being who really just wanted a piece of cheese.

Poison. Poison also kill.  Things that include my rabbit and/or my dog, whom both of which eat anything they can get their noses near.  And even if that didn’t happen and the poison did find it’s correct mark, the mark would then retreat to some unseen, unknown part of the house to die and cause stinkage.

Today I saw him again.  He is much bolder now, which obviously comes when you are comfortable in your new home, so this time much he was closer and looking right at me.  He is so small and very un-repulsive.  Now, not only have I had a run in with Denial, now his friend Guilt has come collapsing on top of me.  

So, I have a mouse.  I have named him Shredder.

I did try to make my own humane trap….
(Though mine looked a bit more like this)

Good news, it works.

Bad news, it caught my rabbit.

So here I am, with yet another furry house mate.

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This week on Entertainment Weekly’s website, the run a story (? is that what we call it?) listing the top 17 DVR “No Delete” episodes of all time. ¹   EW is famous for the list that no one cares about (No? Okay well known to myself at least) because let’s face it, people need a bit of time between each time you rearrange the top 50 Movies of All Time list.  Expecting a filler list here and there is, well, expected.  But this ones a doosey. 

First off, the list is off to a roaring start with the fact that there is seventeen items on it.  What? You couldn’t find a few more to make it an even twenty?  The remaining three are the ones you’ll “probably delete the next you run out of space.”

The List is as follows — and I don’t even think it’s a count down to be perfectly honest.

1. “I Will Remember You”  – Angel (not off to a bad start)
2. Rosie/Elisabeth View Blowout  (what does that even mean?)
3. Two episodes of The Golden Girls, only referenced as “the mystery one” and “the one with a nurse” (so now the fake list is cheating.  And with very little research.)
4. “Naked Man” – How I Met Your Mother
5. “The one where Jim Plays a Banjo at the end” — The Office (are we even trying still?)
6. The Scrubs Musical Episode (which I found to be grating and a bit derivative)
7. 30 Rock’s ”MILF Island” episode  (Saved by the Baldwin)
8. The series finale of The West Wing (Of all the awesome episodes written, a hundred written by the Sorkin himself, we choose the most tired predictable episode of the season.  Fine, at least they swung for the bleachers.)
9. ”Once More With Feeling.” – Buffy the Vampire Slayer (Buffy and Angel on one list.  That only has 17 in it, no less.  Go, geeks, go.)
10. The series finale of The O.C.  (Once again, I could probably list 20 that are better than this.  All from Season 1)
11. ”Patriot Games” – Family Guy (Haven’t personally seen this ep specifically, but a point for the obscurity.)
12. “A couple episodes” from Felicity (okay, see, now you’re cheating again)
13.  90210 where Dylan marries Toni (I actually have nothing to add one way or the other, sorry to build your expectations)
14. The Rick James episode ofChappelle’s Show ( What?! Really?  Gag.)
15. ‘The Constant.” – Lost (I stopped watching lost after season 2 because it turned to wank, but okay, if you say so)
16. ”Post-it Always Sticks Twice” – Sex and the City (This just seems like an obligatory mention by this point)
17. Saturday Night Live ”J*zz in My Pants” (ARGLLLL!!)

Besides the fact that most of these are not even real episodes, this is the most obscure list I have ever come in contact with.  And I make a many of lists.  It goes from Geek to 80’s sitcoms to just random bits of episodes and then back again taking a loop around the lowest common denominator.  Who is this list trying to appeal to, exactly?  Are we being ecclectic to prove that there is unforgettable television everywhere?  Well, if it were so damn unforgettable why are only a few of the episodes actually named by titled instead of “the one where something happens to some person and it was funny, sorta.”  Ugh.  I, as a list maker and television view alike, am personally offended by the nonsense of this list.  This list maker should be fired  and they should hire someone who can make better lists with multiples of fives and proper labelling.  And a descending order, dammit!

Hippies. Sigh.

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