Yes, indeedy.  That time again.  Let’s get started.

Why do people feel the need to lower their cars?

By “people” I mean “mostly stupid boys” and by “lower” I mean “yank out the suspension of the car so that it’s dragging on the pavement.”

Today, it’s mostly an aesthetic thing.  Like wings, spoilers, and “racing stripes” it supposedly adds a level of bad-assery to your car and thus your life status/penis performance.

Originally, however, it got it got it’s start in racing.  When done properly, it’s supposed to lower the center of gravity of your vehicle, which means you can go around turns at hundreds of miles an hour without flipping in the air like a wayward Pog.

But like I said, it’s mostly a penis thing.  

What is the difference between DVD-R and DVD+R? ¹

You may have never even noticed that there is a difference in the type of blank discs that you bought to burn your files and illegal downloads onto.  You just pop a disc into your computer and burn away.  For all you know that little “minus” is nothing more than a hyphen.  However, when you put in a blank DVD and it doesn’t work, you might start to notice.

Let’s take a trip back in time.  But not too far back, because realistically, how long have DVD’s been around?  In the beginning, there was no industry standard.  Companies were out there competing, hoping that their format would soon dominate the market.  Then they both caught on, and now we just have two types floating out there confusing the innocent illegal downloader.

The DVD-R/RWs were developed by Pioneer and are the most compatible with Apple computers (and obviously Pioneer products).  Technically gobbledegook speaking, “minus” discs only write on one layer of the disc and are generally the cheaper alternative.

DVD+R/RW is more of a Microsoft thing (so, HP, Dell, Sony, Phillips, etc).  The “plus” discs have slightly better storage capacity because it burns on more than one layer, though I’ve never noticed a real difference.  For the average non-geek, you probably won’t either. ² Anyway, this difference does cause the slight difference in price.

That said, I believe that comptuers and laptops and burners that are coming off the line toady are more or less compatabile with both “plus” and  ”minus” formats.   I don’t imagine it being an issue for very much longer, but if you can’t figure out why your DVD won’t burn, check the format, that might be the problem.  It might mean a trip up to Walmart for a new spool.  Don’t worry, 24 Season 1 will still be there when you get back.  

When typing, do I put one or two spaces after a sentence?

Most likely, if you didn’t learn how to type on a typewriter, you have no clue what I’m talking about.   That’s okay, I’m here to make you more worldly.

Originally, after finishing typing a sentence, you would press the spacebar twice before starting a new one.  This is because typewriters and early word processors used monospaced fonts, like “Courier,” which means all letters are the same width.  Tiny little “i’s” take up the same amount of space on the page as “m’s.”  Two spaces helped the eye determine the start of the new thought and made for an easier read.  The only people who need to worry about this these days are usually writers of some kind.  People who turn in scripts or manuscripts still type in “Courier” therefore need to still follow the two space rule.

However, most of us aren’t writing the new Harry Potter (book or movie) are we? With the popularity of proportional fonts, such as “Times New Roman,” this custom is being kicked to the curb.  The eye doesn’t need the help anymore, so all you essay and blog writers out there, keep doing what you’re probably doing anyway: use one space after typing a sentence.

FYI, if you care, I double space after my sentences.  It’s how I was taught and I can’t break the habit now.  It’s annoying to some people who read my stuff, but only Nazis notice.  

I’m bored, especially after reading this POS entry, what should I do?

Read a book.  Or go play outside.  That’s what my mother always told me.  I can’t really help you there.  Most likely you’ll ignore what I advise anyway and go look for porn on the internet. Off you go.   ____

Mary Sue

a term used for a character in a piece of fiction who is really the author’s idealized self-image, often shallow and uninteresting to anyone but the author. Mary Sues dominate any story in which they are included and are most often seen in online fan fiction. The term originated with Paula Smith’s 1974 character from Star Trek fan fiction.

I added a link taking you to a “Mary Sue Litmus Test” to help you determine if you’ve fallen into lazily writing this over-cliched character.

Note: There are many many Mary Sue litmus tests available on the web, some pretty extensive ones at that.  I chose this one because it specifically pertained to the creation for characters in original fiction, whereas most include one or more sections of FanFic and/or RPG characters.  I figured this would be more helpful to people are writing something intended to be actually published.

Today is the Hindu celebration of Diwali ¹ or “the festival of lights.”  My partner is hindu so I have been celebrating since I moved to Australia three years ago.

In preparation for the holiday, everyone cleans their houses, trims their gardens and makes enough sweets to kill an army of diabetics.  On the day everyone dresses in new brightly colored clothes and visits all their friends and family to share the afore mentioned sweets with one another.  At night lots (and I mean lots) of candles are lit all around the yard and sparklers are waved.  It is the festival of lights, after all.

At some point there is a service to worship Lakshmi, the goddess of wealth and prosperity.  It is said the reason everyone is so keen on cleaning their house and buying new clothes is that however you are on Diwali, you will spend the rest of the year.  In other words, filthy house today, filthy house for the next 365.  Be prosperous now, be prosperous later.

This is the big holiday for the Hindu faith.  The Indian Christmas, if you will.  It’s so important that it is a national holiday in India, and everyone spends the night having fun and setting off firecrackers. ²

There is something about this celebration that really appeals to me. Not only is it aesthetically appealing and we get an excuse to eat all day, but we get to spend it among some of those we love the most.  I also really like the idea that we get a blank slate every year.  If you have a rough year, you get to put it behind you and start anew. We could all use that sometimes.

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New Article posted.

The Twilight Saga: Shimmering Vampires Who Drive Volvos

You know, to follow my apparent recent vampire theme.

The English language has been on the decline for many years now, specifically the written.  For something that was really only standardized within the last few hundred years, it has gone out the window pretty quickly. ¹  I blame technology.  Or perhaps the fast-paced, instant gratification, impatient  world we live in today.  Or perhaps both.

Email started it, I suppose.  With it’s instantness and it’s efficiency.  In the beginning, as per human nature, it took the form of correspondence that we as a society were familiar with.  Letter writing.  It was like sending a letter, it only got there two days earlier than before.

Dear Mr. York,

It has been far too long since we have seen each other.  We should really be better about getting together on a regular basis.  Let’s stay in touch and perhaps meet up for a meet later this month.

Have your secretary get in touch with mine.  They’ll set a time and place.

Sincerely,

Mr. Smith

Formal letter writing quickly became the thing of the past when it was so much easier to type a memo without a stuffy greeting and much faster without worrying about proper capitalization or punctuation.

paul

let’s grab a drink. you free friday

j

Anything semblance of the afore mentioned proper capitalization and punctuation went out the window with the rise of instant messaging.  It was a necessity at this point.  In order to keep the flow and timing of a semi-normal conversation, typing/spelling/words had to be has quick and easy as possible.  Hence the birth of LOL. ²

pauleewifpashun4pottery hey. sup?

jdawg just watchin you’ve got mail. you?

pauleewifpashun4pottery i love that movie

pauleewifpashun4pottery wanna grab a drink later this week?

jdawg me too.

jdawg yeah, that’d be great.

And before I continue my diatribe, I must take time to make this little side note.  In elementary school, like many others of that day, I had to take a typing class from day one.  ³ It’s where I learned my home row keys and also where I learned that I really liked to press buttons.  However, it wasn’t until AOL/AIM came along that I my typing skills really started to sore.  Also, my ability to carry on two strands of thought in one conversation window without losing track.  Speaking of, I should get back to my topic.

Apparently the loss capitalization and punctuation was only the tip of a deep and expansive iceberg of illiteracy.  One day, some dude (I presume dude, but I also presume Japanese, but that’s because I’m inherently naive) came up with the idea of the text message, aka the short message or the SMS.  This was an amazing thing because when a thought didn’t warrant a full conversation, one could just send it in a text.  Though sadly, there was one small problem.  There are twenty six letters in the English language, plus silly little things like punctuation and spaces between words.  There are ten numeric keys on the standard phone.  Before some second dude invented predictive text, typing out a full sentence, God forbid two, became quite the hassle. Further shorthand was required.

u want to meet 4 drinks?

Of course, for some reason known only to the former planet Pluto, this started a whole new spelling trend where things were spelled incorrectly even when they didn’t make the word any shorter or efficient. IE, the Z in place of the S trend.  Text messages, combined with emailing and instant messaging, birthed a whole new English in the developing youth.  A horrible, shameful one.  Not to mention one that I find more difficult to understand than just typing out the words.  Large chunks of text all over the internet started to look like this.

i have inzane dreamz. dreamz wher i crawl in2 a big pot of cawfee and swim around 4 dayz.

also i tink mark is sooooooooooooo kewl

And then one day, everyone had a blog, not just limited to those people who had something to say.  Thoughts of what people did in their day to day life and who they were warring with at school flooded the internet.

Which brings us to Twitter.  Twitter, who’s only purpose that I can see, is to become friends with celebrities.  For those outside the loop, Twitter is the site where users can log on to update their thoughts or whatever, but are limited to doing so in 140 characters.  Now, not only can we find out what you had for lunch or what poster you just bought, but we can do it from our telephones or computers while checking what everyone else had for lunch or what poster THEY bought all in the same place quickly and painlessly.

paulee evrybdy shud cum 2 #Cheers 4 drinks! its @jdawg going away prty. 530 cnr park & main. c u ther!

And that is what sealed the deal.  That killed the English language and spelling and grammar forever.  I fear that there is no turning back now.  Tomorrow it will only be something else.  Some shorthand of shorthand that will make thinking minimal and our eyes melt.

I miss words.  I like how they sound and how they look and how they feel being typed out on the keyboard.  Admittedly, I’m  a child of the internet who is terrified of talking on the phone and prefers to communicate via email or text.  This perhaps is another downfall of the technology, the lack of intimacy and fear of close communication, but I know I can’t try to stop progress or really even blame it for our problems.  I just miss words.  And sentences.  And handwritten notes.  And reading things that are created to make you think instead of the opposite.

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