Why do people feel the need to lower their cars?

By “people” I mean “mostly stupid boys” and by “lower” I mean “yank out the suspension of the car so that it’s dragging on the pavement.”

Today, it’s mostly an aesthetic thing.  Like wings, spoilers, and “racing stripes” it supposedly adds a level of bad-assery to your car and thus your life status/penis performance.

Originally, however, it got it got it’s start in racing.  When done properly, it’s supposed to lower the center of gravity of your vehicle, which means you can go around turns at hundreds of miles an hour without flipping in the air like a wayward Pog.

But like I said, it’s mostly a penis thing.  

What is the difference between DVD-R and DVD+R? ¹

You may have never even noticed that there is a difference in the type of blank discs that you bought to burn your files and illegal downloads onto.  You just pop a disc into your computer and burn away.  For all you know that little “minus” is nothing more than a hyphen.  However, when you put in a blank DVD and it doesn’t work, you might start to notice.

Let’s take a trip back in time.  But not too far back, because realistically, how long have DVD’s been around?  In the beginning, there was no industry standard.  Companies were out there competing, hoping that their format would soon dominate the market.  Then they both caught on, and now we just have two types floating out there confusing the innocent illegal downloader.

The DVD-R/RWs were developed by Pioneer and are the most compatible with Apple computers (and obviously Pioneer products).  Technically gobbledegook speaking, “minus” discs only write on one layer of the disc and are generally the cheaper alternative.

DVD+R/RW is more of a Microsoft thing (so, HP, Dell, Sony, Phillips, etc).  The “plus” discs have slightly better storage capacity because it burns on more than one layer, though I’ve never noticed a real difference.  For the average non-geek, you probably won’t either. ² Anyway, this difference does cause the slight difference in price.

That said, I believe that comptuers and laptops and burners that are coming off the line toady are more or less compatabile with both “plus” and  ”minus” formats.   I don’t imagine it being an issue for very much longer, but if you can’t figure out why your DVD won’t burn, check the format, that might be the problem.  It might mean a trip up to Walmart for a new spool.  Don’t worry, 24 Season 1 will still be there when you get back.  

When typing, do I put one or two spaces after a sentence?

Most likely, if you didn’t learn how to type on a typewriter, you have no clue what I’m talking about.   That’s okay, I’m here to make you more worldly.

Originally, after finishing typing a sentence, you would press the spacebar twice before starting a new one.  This is because typewriters and early word processors used monospaced fonts, like “Courier,” which means all letters are the same width.  Tiny little “i’s” take up the same amount of space on the page as “m’s.”  Two spaces helped the eye determine the start of the new thought and made for an easier read.  The only people who need to worry about this these days are usually writers of some kind.  People who turn in scripts or manuscripts still type in “Courier” therefore need to still follow the two space rule.

However, most of us aren’t writing the new Harry Potter (book or movie) are we? With the popularity of proportional fonts, such as “Times New Roman,” this custom is being kicked to the curb.  The eye doesn’t need the help anymore, so all you essay and blog writers out there, keep doing what you’re probably doing anyway: use one space after typing a sentence.

FYI, if you care, I double space after my sentences.  It’s how I was taught and I can’t break the habit now.  It’s annoying to some people who read my stuff, but only Nazis notice.  

I’m bored, especially after reading this POS entry, what should I do?

Read a book.  Or go play outside.  That’s what my mother always told me.  I can’t really help you there.  Most likely you’ll ignore what I advise anyway and go look for porn on the internet. Off you go.   ____

–noun

spoonerism   

Origin: 
1895–1900; after W. A. Spooner (1844–1930), English clergyman noted for such slips

Ironically enough, these are oddly easy to confuse.

What is the origin of the phrase “mad as a hatter?”

Which means completely mad or insane.

One might think it had something to do with Alice in Wonderland. Or Johnny Depp.  However, these assumptions would be incorrect.  In fact, back in the day Mercury use to be used in the making of hats which effects the nervous system of those in close contact with it often.  It also creates aggressiveness, mood swings and “anti-social” behavior.  One could imagine that someone with these symptoms would appear quite insane, or even mad, perhaps.

One of the more popular references of course would be the Mad Hatter in the afore mentioned book, Alice in Wonderland.

Alright, off you go.  That’s all the wisdom I shall impart this evening.

What is the difference between the words “assume” and “presume?”

These days the two word are used almost interchangeably, however, there is a subtle difference.  To assume means to take for granted without proof whereas presume requires some proof or fact, but not absolute certainty. 

I presume you are the killer because I saw you standing over the body with a knife making stabbing motions.  I assume you bought the knife at WalMart.

How does the refrigerator know when to turn on the light?

Where many people might lead you to believe that the light is manned by a little person, an speedy imp, if you will, this is just not the case.  Whirlpool and others have come up with this ingenious invention so is so genius, so subtle, that most don’t even realize it’s there.  Hence, the wondering.

Behold: There is a special switch on the side the door that is released when the door is opened, creating light.  When pressure is applied to the switch the light turns off.  See diagram.

I think Ellen Degeneres is hilarious, does this make me gay?

Have you perhaps considered that you think Ellen Degeneres is funny because you enjoy when anecdotes are compiled with a bit of buildup and fanfare leading into a fulfilling punchline? Bet you never thought of that  – bet you assumed that it’s just her gayness crossing the little tv signals into your living room encouraging you to run — no skipping — out of the closet “I’m gay, I’m gay, I’m glorious gay!”  It can’t possibly be because the woman is just funny.

Or, perhaps, yes, it means you’re gay.

And that concludes this edition of “Carrie answers a few questions of the universe.”  If you have any questions, or perhaps a better title, feel free to ring in.