Last night at dinner I was called “Conservative,” which was an “Et tu, Brute?” moment for me, considering it came from one of my closer friends and also my partner.  This is something I have never come to call myself nor have I ever heard anyone refer to me as.  Upon this little dinnertime outburst I did a quick mental checklist and decided that ultimately, I still fell in the liberal category, politically, socially and fiscally.  Yes, people should be treated equally and pax taxes (though, if you’re volunteering to pave the roads yourself, I guess we can discuss the latter.)

According to Wikipedia¹ defines conservatism as the following:

… a term used to describe political philosophies that favour tradition, where tradition refers to various religious, cultural, or nationally defined beliefs and customs.

This is where they were getting me, traditions.  I believe in the institution of marriage.  Crap, I knew that one would come back to bite me in the ass.  I’ve always wanted to be married and have a big family.  Family values are something that are important and are something that I would like to pass down to my children.  Of course, I absolutely acknowledge that anyone can have a family without marriage being involved.  There are so many types of families out there in the world, who am I to say which ones are better than others, so if you don’t want to get married, don’t, but I do.  And it goes beyond “insurance” and the like with me, it’s the universal recognition that I am now legally related to my spouse.²  After weighing up the pros and cons, I have decided that marriage is for me, so woo marriage.  On the other hand, the friend that I happened to be dining with last night does not believe in the institution  – which I take to mean that she has decided it is not for her, opposed to flat out not believing that it exists in the world — an that is perfectly okay by me.  Wanting to get married alone does not make me conservative, believing that it is the right thing for everyone and that marriage must mean the same thing to everyone personally would be, however.³

They also got me on the fact that I had morals.  Er, I would like to admit now that this was one that I did not see coming, especially over my views on abortion (more on that one later).  It was laid out on the table that I knew where I stood on moral issues and inherently felt that there is a way in which people should behave.  I couldn’t disagree with that one but wasn’t too certain on how that actually made me conservative, or liberal, for that matter.  Everyone has views on what the “Moral Rules” should be, no matter who you are.  It’s just happens, you either feel this way or you don’t, just pick a topic.  I guess there are various stances you can take on each issue, but to be honest, I’ve never run into someone who believes “Kill people on your whim, and take things that don’t rightfully belong to you.”  And even that rare belief would still be considered a “moral stance.”  Does that make that person conservative?  I think that moral conservatism actually has to do with the morals that you uphold, not the fact that you actually have them.

The only really “conservative” moral that I believe myself to hold is my stance on abortion, which ironically didn’t come up in this particular conversation until I, myself,  brought it up.  I am pro-life. ⁴ I am under the impression that when life begins, it begins.  Since when was it a thought that you could be pregnant with something that wasn’t alive? If we started saying “I’m not pregnant yet, but there is a sack of cells developing caused my prior copulation and instigated by a successful sperm,” it would not only be difficult to get out in one breath but it would be difficult to start to define when this so called “real pregnancy” aka life, begins.  People say it’s not that simple and there are so many things to consider, but it should be in my book.  Don’t get me started on it any further than that because the last thing you want is an all out abortion debate; everyone hates those.  Life is life and I do not believe that any humans have the right to say when another human dies, fetal, prisoner or otherwise. 

But don’t you worry, those of you who believe in a woman’s right to choose, I will never vote to outlaw abortion because it is one of those things that you will never be able to make everyone believe.  Whether abortion is legal or not, there are going to still be people out there who are going to have them and I am willing to acknowledge that it is wiser to have them do it some where legitimate and safe opposed to having a repeat of the 40’s and 50’s that involves coat hangers and/or dirty instruments.

I guess no one can be perfect.

Though I guess that should be my point. I think people get hung up with these “conservative” and “liberal” labels, myself included, but ultimately there are far too many grey areas and to box yourself in gives you a lot of implications that you might not want to take on.  What I think is more important is that you do know where you stand on issues of morality, politics, religion and otherwise.  There are so many people out there who don’t know where they stand and can be lead around by their noses. Uncertainty is okay to an extent because we are only human and we can’t be expected to know everything, but you can’t just leave it at that.  Saying “I don’t know” is one thing, but it’s a whole other kettle of fish not to then search for the answer — whether it be internally or externally.  Not knowing breeds ignorance and you owe it to your descendants, and to me personally, not to be stupid.  Get the facts, know where you stand and don’t discredit it if it feels like it’s coming from your heart and not your head.  That’s legitimate too.  

Know where you stand, it’s your best weapon.  

People should be allowed to believe what they believe without the judgement of others as long as they’re not hurting anyone. (Please note that last bit)  No more of this “I know what’s best” mentality, because you don’t.  There’s no way anyone could possibly have that capability when it comes to such grey matters.

Another thing I learned is there is a reason not to discuss such things at the dinner table.  In all the kerfuffle I forgot to go back to the buffet and get a fried ice cream (which is probably to my benefit since my Wii Fit weight is on the rise once again.)

I apologize for the quality of this post.  I promise I will at least attempt to be more coherent, or at least more entertaining when I get less ill.