In 2003, I was devastated when my favorite show, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, came to its inevitable end.  And I was on board for all the various rumors circulating about potential spin-off movies and not-so-secretly wished that the animated series would be made, even though it went back to the beginning of the series.  Eventually when the shock had worn off, I got over it and moved on to bigger and better things. ¹ Now, over five years later, you’ll still hear a “rumor” that someone is finally going to get around to making that Spike/Faith spinoff that we were all so excited about.  I don’t actually know how this keeps happening even though the fact that Buffy’s God himself, has said “Uh-uh, no more.  No Spikey, no Faithy, no Cartoony,” and really I think that that should be that, but my fellow geeks just can’t let it go.  In fact, I think this very mentioning of the Animated Series is enough to get a small flutter of internet Geek-Goss. 

Unfortunately, this undying hope doesn’t seem to be limited to Buffy, in fact, it turns out that all Geeks are apparently just satisfied, ecstatic even, by whatever the creator deems to release of a long finished franchise.  Recently, I ranted about the low-stooping of producers who would dare release yet another Terminator movie just for a quick buck, but as it turns out, it might not be entirely their fault.  Geek groupies want more and they don’t care about the quality they get it in.  The people in hollywood with the power are more than willing to oblige if it means that they can make a quick buck without the extensive ad campaign.

Geeks have no urge to branch out from their comfort zones, so why would filmmakers and TV series creators feel the need to branch out themselves?  If they keep churning out more of the same, they are still guaranteed the audience, and nothing feels better than blind worship.  Why take a risk on something new that could possibly flop?   Several weeks ago, I read an article that said just this very thing about Star Wars God, George Lucas.

These days Lucas sounds like a museum curator, fussing with dusty memorabilia… If he has any inspiration left, he shouldn’t waste it on exploiting something old when he could put it to use dreaming up something new. 

I tend to agree.  Come on, Georgie, you don’t think six movies and a few ill-fated 80′s series were enough to satisfy ALL the story lines that Star Wars legitamently had to offer?  Turns out, he didn’t have think that.  There was still enough buzz circulating the animated Star Wars movie that just came out (that tells the story that we have already seen the ending for!²) and the upcoming live action TV series that he doesn’t even have to remotely consider making something fresh.

George Lucas has created two thrilling franchises  – Star Wars and Indiana Jones – so surely if he put his mind to it, he could come up with another good trilogy before his time is up, instead of beating up one of his other dead horses.  He isn’t that old.  George, use your powers for good not evil!

And if the so-called god of cult classics³ can do it, why can’t the little guys?  Now there is talk of a Veronica Mars movie appearing on the “to-do list.”  Veronica Mars was one those few shows that somehow sprung up a devoted cult audience — whether that had anything to do with the endorsement of one Joss Whedon is debatable — which is somewhat surprising considering it only lasted three seasons and by the end of which, kind of sucked, in my opinion.   My guess would be that this movie would try to wrap up the so-called cliffhanger of the last episode.  You know what would have done that?  Not having a cliff hanger.  Creator Rob Thomas’s theory was “if we leave them with some half answered questions, surely they will have to renew us to find out.”  Some good that did, now the questions will always go unanswered.⁴  The movie is not the answer folks, the world has moved on from Veronica, and nostalgia and sugar dreams can’t change that.

I am the first to admit that finding a show that is worth devoting your heart-and-soul to is few and far between, but have some dignity.  Squeezing the life out of a franchise until it is nothing but recycled and recasted waste is not going to bring back the feeling you had seven years ago.  Shows (and movies) have a limited story potential, it’s inevitable.  The reason some shows (and movies) are so great is that they know how to exploit this potential and then make it come together in a nice, well-deserved ending that provides us closure.  A show ending is not the worst thing that can happen, in fact, it’s generally the best.  Spinoffs and comic books and movies only muddle the ending and what the show was trying to accomplish in the finale.

When a show ends, there will be another one day.  It might not be tomorrow and I know that that hurts your little internet-raised, instant-gratification soul, but it will happen.  Buffy ended in  2003.  It was great, and it has been untainted⁵ since then and therefore it will live on as something awesome forever.  A few years later I have discovered Battlestar Galactica, albeit a couple years late, and that fills the gap just fine.  Great shows don’t come around too often  – and really, would they be just as great if they did?  – but they do come around.  So be patient and don’t fool yourself into believing lame rumors or watching tired spinoffs.  It will all work out in the end.  The worlds of TV and film aren’t going anywhere, if anything, they’re just growing.

As for Wii Fit… I’m still on the incline… and you would think that burned more calories.

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Tags: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Geeks, George Lucas, Indiana Jones, Rob Thomas, Star Wars, Terminator, Veronica Mars, Wii Fit

James Cameron accomplished the awesome in the 80′s/early 90′s.  He made the first two Terminator movies, which in my opinion, T-whatever is the only role the Governator was perfectly suited for.  Though we can never really fully grasp why the futuristic cyborg has some strange miscellaneous accent, it seems to be forgiven and we allow the man who can hardly form a sentence save (or destroy) the day.  In 2003, we thought that Nostalgia and the Gov alone would be able to setup some box-office gold with Terminator 3. It almost worked… almost.  Turns out you have to actually have a good movie as well and cannot rely soley on a sixty year old man who used to be cool to sell the movie (this applies to Chuck Norris as well). ¹  

Though all seemed to be forgiven (and possibly forgotten) regarding Terminator 3 and America was equally as stoked when the Sarah Connor: My Long Title Promises Awesomeness TV Series came into view.  Even this show was smart enough to pretend that T3 didn’t exist by jumping through time, effectively erasing the flop’s existence.  This must have built up some good karma because Sarah Connor is terrific, like really.  I enjoy it immensely and that’s not only because I have not-so-PG fantasies about Leda Headey, who plays the eponymous character, or that oh-so flexible Firefly chick.  Me, along with lots of other viewers anticipate the upcoming Season 2.  It has great potential and I believe that soon it will find it’s place on it’s own without the two movies and possibly earn a shorter title.

One would think this would be enough to the various sized Enchiladas in Hollywood. They have found a way to earn back our trust while also having a way to continuously generate an income due to the ongoing nature of a TV show.  But alas, it is not enough.  As Abba said, Money, Money, Money. Now we can all anticipate the arrival of the 2009 Box Office Smasher, Terminator Salvation.  I am stoked, let me tell you.  And to make things better, James Cameron has little to do with it and they have hired McG to be the director.² One might be able to say “Hey look, Christian Bale is in it as John Connor, and he’s Batman, so like, it’s going to be awesome.”  Unless he decides to put on the Batsuit with little to no explanation to his fellow characters, I highly doubt awesomeness will occur. ³

 

Though I might not be able to claim to be the first person to report on this movie, I can say that I’m definitely the most disappointed, possibly more so than I was with the last Harry Potter book. I can’t believe anyone would think that this was a good idea.  Even if I was a thirteen year old boy promised a free Playboy Mag upon entry, I would not turn up for this piece of bull.   What is the logic here?  Could it be a fake nostalgia thing?  The target demographic is far too young to remember the arrival of the first two movies and it’s even unlikely that a number of them have even seen them.  At best, there will be some that have occassionally tuned into Sarah Connor  or went and saw T3 for Kristanna Loken in that red spandex get up.  When things get down to it, and these kids were actually to see this movie, they wouldn’t enjoy it.  The effects are no where near what they would be used to and the first movie is way too long for their little attention spans. ⁴

Lucky for execs though, they do have one marketing tool that they can take advantage of — the fact that if you tell kids that it’s something they should remember as awesome, they will assume they remember it is awesome and will buy into the hype.  Have you seen those “Bred in the 80′s” shirts?  The majority of the consumers that buy that shirt were probably born in ’89, ’88 at the earliest, but they have been told that living in the 80′s was THE thing and therefore they get to share in this glory on a technicality, though they have absolutely no recollection of what that means. It’s false memories thus it’s false nostalgia.  I am assuming that this is the same principle that Terminator Wankation is trying to channel to ensure viewers. That, and Batman.

I may be way off on this assumption, but I guess we will have to wait and see what happens when it comes out.  Until then, I will be doing what any other self respecting Terminator fan will be doing: watching Leda Headey run around in kick-ass boots trying to forget that distressing night out with Kellie and Old-Man-Governator.

 

Wii Fit says I gained .4 kg.

Tags: Abba, Firefly, Governator, James Cameron, Kristanna Loken, Leda Heady, Sarah Connor, Summer Glau, Terminator, Terminator 2: Judgment Day, Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines, Terminator Salvation, Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles, Wii Fit